Every few days I pull up this account and I write. Sentences, maybe a few paragraphs, but they never really amount to much. So, I lay my finger on the delete button and watch the cursor as it speeds back to the top of the page.
Truth be told, I really don't know what I'm doing here. This blog, in its current incarnation, isn't who I am anymore and the things I want to write about just don't seem to fit in this space. The person I am now is very different from the person I was when I started this blog in February of 2008, almost six years ago. I no longer need to document every moment of my, or my family's, life. I don't have the desire to take a photo of each thing I sew, crochet, or bake. (Although maybe I should because I've made some fucking awesome cakes lately.) I don't have the time to devote to reviewing books anymore, although I still read a lot and miss having people with whom to discuss those books. When I'm with the kids, I find myself taking pictures of them less and less. They don't want to be my subjects anymore, and frankly, I'm in a spot in my life where they aren't my sole focus.
So, where does that leave this blog? I'm not sure. I've thought of starting a new blog but I think I'm just too lazy. Do you know how long it took for me to come up with the half assed name for this blog?! I don't know if I can be expected to do that twice in one lifetime. Plus, as disjointed as it feels, I like the fact that this wee corner of the internet chronicles the changes in my life.
For the second year in a row, my family hung out with Visty and her clan on New Year's Eve. We ate fatty foods and drank rum runners before going on our (now annual) late night walk in which we do obnoxious things such as sneaking into people's yards to photograph ourselves amongst their Christmas lights.
But before the walk, Visty snapped this picture of me:
But Dawn, in her infinite wisdom, stumbled upon something: I'm happy. I like my life. Right now, is probably the most relaxed I've ever been, and for me, relaxed translates quite quickly to happy. I like my family and my job. I have the usual hobbies and interests that keep me busy. And the people in my life right now? They all truly make me happy.
I'd like to say with certainty that, starting right now, I'll be blogging here regularly again. But experience has taught me that time and circumstance will get in the way. I'll be tired, or bored, or have writers block.
But this post right here? It's a step.