Monday, August 27, 2012

Enchanted Forest

Sunday we took the girl to Enchanted Forest.


We tried to get the boy to join us but we knew deep down that, having been raised on flashy Florida theme parks, he wouldn't be impressed with this low tech, subtle park that includes a storybook village.




The crooked man's house totally threw off my equilibrium:
Dwarves working hard in the mines:

Goldilocks resting:
A somewhat rickety ride:
I've spoken to a lot of long time Oregonians about Enchanted Forest and everyone has nothing but positive things to say about the place. Which is strange because at first glance this doesn't look like a place that would be popular. It hasn't been updated in, well, ever. The food court isn't impressive, and the gift shop is dusty and not very well stocked, but we had a blast nonetheless.

I guess glitz isn't everything.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Fifty Shades of Me

I thought this was fun and easy so I stole it from Cyndy who stole it from some other gal. Feel free to steal it from me if you're so inclined.

1.  What's your best friends Mom's name? My best friend is adopted and her mom passed on when we were in high school. I didn't spend a lot of time with her and can't remember her name but I know that I knew it at one time. God I am a horrible person. (Sorry Dawn! I love you!)

2.  Where is the weirdest place you have a mole? I'm extremely pale and will get a mole in any place that is exposed to the sun for too long. Now you know.

3.  Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? Sigh. Mr. Smith, 10th grade biology.

4.  Have you ever made out in a movie theatre? NO, and if anyone ever tries this shit with me they're gonna get an earful. Going to the movies is expensive and a make out session would keep me from getting my monies worth. (Note: The last time I went to the movies, I bought a bottle of water and two medium sodas and it was $14.75!)

5.  What body part do you wash first? I start at the top and work my way down. This is the correct way, fyi.

6.  Do you hover over the toilet in a public restroom? No, this is way too much work. And I haven't gotten any weird butt cheek disease yet.

7.  What's the strangest talent you have? Sadly,  I have no answer for this one. I can't think of any strange talents.

8.  Do you have an innie or an outie? Innie.

9.  What's your favorite flavored Pringles? I think that all Pringles taste like feet and I will not eat them.

10. Have you ever been tied up? If anyone's being tied up, it's not me.

11.  What was the last thing you ever got grounded for? That was a looong time ago, but I'm guessing it had something to do with me being a smart ass.

12.  Do you parallel park or drive around the block? Usually, drive around the block. I will parallel park if needed but it will take me ten minutes.

13.  Have you ever had two dates in one night? Ha! No. Only if Detective Robert Goren counts as a second date. Which he sometimes does......

14.  How many times have you been cussed out? Hmmm.....I honestly don't know if I have. If so it's been a while and any memory of it has been removed from my brain. (This activity has made me realize that I am hopelessly dull.)

15.  Which shoe do you put on first? Whichever is closest.

16.  I just noticed there is no 16. Hmmm...

17.  Have you ever been to a gay bar? No, and this needs to be changed. I know the right people and live in the right town. There is no excuse for this. I'm ashamed.

18.  Girls. This is not a question. Just want to have fun. Whatever you say.

19.  Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common? I tend to like men with penises.

20.  Did you french kiss before you were 16. Sadly, no.

21.  Have you ever been cow tipping or snipe hunting? What? No. I don't even know what snipe hunting is.

22.  Who is the last person you think about before falling asleep? Right now, Stephen Colbert. I've been staying up way too late these days.

23. Have you ever had a poem/song written about you? Jay wrote a  poem for me one year for our anniversary. He can be good for stuff like that.

24.  If you had to choose to never wash your bed sheets or never wash your bath towel, which would you choose? First of all, what world am I living in where this is an issue? I'd choose towel. I can drip dry for a few seconds and then get into bed with my crisp, clean sheets.

25.  Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable? Yes, my parents. HA! Kidding.

26.  What was your childhood nickname? People used to call me Tamiami Trail, after a stretch of highway in Florida. I hated it.

27.  When is the last time you played air guitar? I have never done this.

28.  Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room? It stinks in there. No.

29.  What's the weirdest thing you have ever done while driving? I am the safest driver you will ever meet. When I drive, the only thing I'm doing is driving.

30.  Have you ever bitten your toenails? Maybe as a kid. Not since I entered double digits though.

31.  How do you eat your cookie? By the fistful and before the kids get to them.

32.  When working out at the gym, do you wear a belt? What? I have no idea what this means. Why would I wear a belt? And why would I go to the gym when there are fistfuls of cookies at home?

33.  Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do when others are around? Sing like I'm on a stage.

34.  Again, no 34. WTF?

35.  Or 35. Who edited this?

36.  How many drinks does it take to get you drunk? It depends on the drink. Two or three.

37.  Have you ever sniffed an animals butt? Willingly, no. But I'm a cat lover and cats love sticking their butt hole in your face.

38.  How often do you clean out your ears? Too often.

39.  Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper? I have scrunched.  I have folded. Both are acceptable.

40.  About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie? Zero.  I free-vag it on an almost daily basis. Am I revealing too much?

41.  Do you have any strange phobias? I don't like the feeling of a dry sponge.

42.  Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? As a toddler I stuck a bead up my nose. When it didn't come out, my mom freaked and rushed me to the ER. The doctor pushed on my non-bead filled nostril and told me to blow out my nose. The bead flew out and I was sent on my way.

43.  What's the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar? I don't do stupid things, anytime, anywhere. No, really, I just avoid bars. Except the gay ones, which I'm going to actively seek out some day soon.

44. Have you ever been dared to do something you totally regretted. No. I'm not 9. If i don't want to do something, I don't do it. It's one of the perks of being an adult.

45.  Have you ever called your love interest by someone else's (an ex's?) name?  No, and does this really happen? I think this is a fallacy perpetrated by the entertainment industry for comedic value. I know no one who this has ever happened to.

46.  Have you caught a date farting? I figure that since he puts up with the fact that I won't make out at the movies, I can turn a blind eye to the constant farting.

47.  Have you ever played naked Twister? No, much like toilet hovering and parallel parking, this seems like too much work. As a general rule, I avoid situations where I'll feel obligated to suck in my stomach.

48.  Have you ever been drunk at work? Nope, but I'm mildly drunk right now.

49.  Have you ever found your lover's brother/sister more attractive? No.

50.  Do you want to bring sexy back? Once again, this sounds like a lot of work and would involve me sucking in my stomach. I'm going to delegate this task to one of my minions.


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Random Thoughts

Pour yourself a drink, grab a snack, and make sure you're comfy because the length of this post might make up for the fact that I haven't blogged in almost a month.

*I suppose the biggest piece of news I have is that this month Jay and I filed for bankruptcy. I've gone back and forth about whether or not to share that with the internet. On the one hand, it's a deeply personal thing that could potentially open us up for ridicule and nasty comments from the occasional troll who finds their way to this space. But on the other hand, a lot of people file for bankruptcy and even more people have financial crap going on, and there is a big part of me that wants them to know they aren't alone.  I've already told a handful of people about this and every one of them either spoke of knowing someone who's gone this route, or they themselves have. Sadly, it's the norm.

When Jay and I first started this process three months ago, I was feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing and even before that there were a lot of mental gymnastics I did, trying to wrap my brain around the possibility that we might need to be people who file for bankruptcy. I thought a lot about my debt. What I could pay, what I couldn't. The short sale of our house in Florida frightened me, I didn't want that hanging over our heads forever. Ultimately though, the deciding factor for us was our children. We want to make their lives easier, and that wouldn't have happened with the amount of debt we had.

In less than a month the boy will start high school. College is not far off. Right now, he wants to be a Psychiatrist. Of course, that could always change, but if it doesn't, I want to help him reach that goal. My daughter routinely mentions wanting to be a Doctor. She also thinks 'being famous' is a career choice, so her plans could change. But if they don't, I want to help her too.

Filing for bankruptcy is quite a process. We had to compile all the needed information, pay a bunch of  money, and take a really boring credit course. We had a great, totally competent, non-slimy lawyer though who did most of the real work. (Seriously, if you're in the Portland area and you need a bankruptcy lawyer, I know a guy.)

In the end, I'm glad it's all over with, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted, and I'm really optimistic about our financial future.

In other news:

 *The kitten is growing far too fast. I want him to stay a kitten forever. He's incredibly passive, allows Lucy to manhandle him in the name of love and snuggles, and he adores the dog.


Lately though, he's been killing Barbie dolls and bringing me their heads, which is slightly creepy.

*Back in April, when Jay and I went to see Rachel, we both signed up to volunteer this election season.     As awful as it sounds, volunteering for me usually ends at the sign up process. After that, I go home and hope I don't get called or maybe just don't answer the phone if I do. Well, I married a people person who actually does answer the phone, so our asses are volunteering. Last night we went to our first neighborhood meet and greet. I volunteered to do data entry, help with voter registration, and do prep work for a DNC viewing party. I may have over committed. There was a lot of wine at this meet and greet.

*My new favorite show is The Newsroom.  I've also watched Bridesmaids about seven times this month. I wish I knew more women like Megan. I could use a Megan type pep talk from time to time.

*Did I mention my son starts high school soon?! Eeek! He's 14, taller than I am, and to the unfocused eye, looks like an adult. But, upon closer inspection, he's still just a dopey kid. This afternoon when I came home from work, he and I watched General Hospital with the sound turned down and created our own dialogue. It was awesome and I loved it. I try not to think about the fact that with every passing day we're creeping up on the tail end of our time together under the same roof.

*Lucy is as spunky and glorious as ever. I've already bought all of her back to school clothes, all of them picked out by me because in her words, "It doesn't matter what clothes you wear." (No, it doesn't. But I'm still going to try my best to buy you the good stuff babe!) I hope she stays this way forever.

Well gosh, I guess that's a proper update. It's been a weird few months. I've had way more on my to-do list than I'm comfortable with but I've gotten through it. The next month or so looks to be busy as well but it's all fun stuff, no lawyers involved.

(Also, I really hope to catch up on all of your blogs within the next week or so. I miss my people.)