Saturday, October 6, 2012

Things You Probably Like, That I Hate

It's once again time for the list of Things You Probably Like, That I Hate.

*Modern Family. Oh hush! I know. I'm obviously in the minority here because this show wins tons of awards and everyone I know watches it and loves it, but I just don't see the appeal. The stories are unoriginal, the characters are all stereotypes, the jokes aren't funny, and if they are funny, they've been done before. Plus, this show does something SO MANY sitcoms do these days: They pair up an attractive, long suffering mother with a bumbling idiot dad. Why do people keep falling for this garbage? Do women watch this show and think, This is just like my life because my husband is retarded too! And are men thinking, My wife is hot and rolls her eyes at me just like the blonde lady on TV, I can relate! If so, then I feel really bad about the state of marriages in this country.

I hate to use the word 'offensive', but this show is almost offensive to me in its horribleness. Oh, and one more thing, having a couple of gay parents on your show does not make it "groundbreaking". Especially if you actually know gay people.  Or parents. Or people in general. Honestly, everything about this show just gives me the icks.

*Coldplay. And not just because the lead singer is married to Gwyneth Paltrow, who I would LOVE to see repeatedly being stabbed while she is simultaneously being burned to death in a car going over the side of a very tall bridge into shark infested waters. Their music is boring and that is a sin. I'm pretty sure that their song "Clocks" is 18 minutes long. (Note: A quick Google search reveals it to be 5 minutes 14 seconds. But it feels like 18 minutes.)

*Robert Downey Jr. I should like him. He seems like someone I would like. He's smug though and that makes me angry.

*Manicure pictures on Pinterest. I log on to Pinterest to look at cat pictures and recipes for foods I will never make. Get your nails off my internet.

*Fifty Shades. Again, people I love and respect adore these books. It was sexy at first, but got old real fast for me.

*The Mall. Back in the day, I used to love the mall and could spend all day there. But the thrifting in the Portland area is just too damn good and it's ruined me for mall prices. For instance, a few weeks back I went into Goodwill for the sole purpose of looking at work clothes. I bought a pair of J. Crew cords, three Gap sweaters, and two dresses. Everything was like new, barely worn. I spent $38. Now when I go to Nordstrom, the prices seem ASTRONOMICAL. (And don't even get me started on the stores that the boy wants to go in! The music is too loud, the store manager is 15 years old, and all the clothes are confusing and advertising bands or musicians I don't know. Nothing can make me feel older than I do when I escort my son to Hot Topic.)

*Cars and Driving. I drive most places because I have no choice, but I'd much rather walk. And fancy cars don't impress me at all.

*Puppy smell. I'm probably the devil. I just think it's weird and not good.

*Kate and/or Pippa Middleton. Neither of them seems very interesting or clever and while they are both attractive, it's a commonplace, everyday kind of attractive. I could go to the mall and find 20 women that look just like them. What's all the hubbub for?

What do you hate that everyone else inexplicably loves? And for more things I hate, go here.


14 comments:

Carla E said...

I'm totally with on Kate/Pippa. Just your everyday pretty girls. Maybe that's why people love them?
And yes (or is no) to manicures on pintrist.

Jaime said...

The mall (and enormous shopping centers) scares me. I haven't been in a while but if I do go, I have to psych myself up. I get all twitching and I feel suffocated. I can almost see the germs floating through the air when people cough and sneeze without covering their mouthes. Really? Did their moms not teach them anything?

Maria Rose said...

I hear you on every single point...except I am merely indifferent to Gwenyth. Here are a few on my list: caffeine (gave it up for pregnancy in 2008 and have no interest in crossing back over), ombre hair (some ombre is OK, hair is too far), rhubarb and green beans, musical theater (makes me want to freak out), Glee, Harry Potter (meh, etc.

Tammie said...

ooh i dont like ombre hair either. or glee. i went from being indifferent to glee to all out wanting it completely erased from my mind.

i may have to add harry potter to the list. ive read a few of the books and i keep trying to rope the family into watching the movies with me. its not going well.

Maria Rose said...

I need to make one exemption to my musical theater rule...The Sound of Music, but really I only like the movie.

Danette said...

Good list. There are a couple of things that I disagree with you on but for the most part, it's good. I think I would say: almost all mainstream shows. I am really not into 'Downton Abbey' which everyone at work seems to love. I saw bits of it and ... meh. And I don't like many pop groups- Lady Gaga for instance. The list could get quite long but I'll leave it at that.
(do you put these things on the calendar? How do you remember to do this every year during NaBlo? Or is it a once a month thing...) Cheers!

Violet Marbles said...

I love when you post these because I usually find most if not all of them completely hysterical. The only one I'm not with on is Robert Downy Jr. I haven't really investigated him as a person much- but I love every movie he's made- especially the sherlock ones- so as an actor- I really enjoy him. I cracked up over the "Clocks" being 18 minutes long comment. SO. TRUE.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Oh how this made me laugh today!
While I do enjoy Modern Family the point you made about dumb husbands is so tired and well stupid.
The rest I am pretty much on point with you. (ick to Gwyneth)
I will make you gasp with adding ipod to my list. I know! most think i am the anti-christ when i say that. and of course that will then make me giggle.

Daphne said...

I hate the mall with a passion, although sometimes I do have to go there (and am always surprised that yep, I still hate it). I am not on Pinterest, so have no idea about this manicure phenomenon you describe, but I'm sort of against manicures in general, and hate hate hate getting pedicures. I do them myself, but going to the pedicure place creeps me out. So there's my addition to the list...

Dawn said...

Puppy breath?? You're heartless!

Tammie said...

not just puppy breath but that weird puppy smell that people love. it turns my stomach.

Tammie said...

daphne: i dont like manicures or pedicures either. maybe that has something to do with my hatred of nail polish shots. also: get on pinterest.

Run Lori Run said...

I agree with almost everything here! There is a crapload of crap on Pinterest.

Maria Rose said...

I also want to add fingernail "art" to my list.