Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Cat Related Randomness

Don't be fooled by the handsome face. Chances are, he's thinking about being up to no good.

* Julius is spunky and fun and a great diversion, but he's no Isabelle. He doesn't smell, feel, or snuggle like Isabelle. I'm okay with that though. In fact, I'm mostly okay in general. There are moments, of course. Moments when I miss her so much that I feel it in my bones. But yeah, I'm mostly okay.

* I don't know what to do with Isabelle's ashes. They are in a lovely little tin on a shelf in my living room. I feel like I should do something special with them though. I like the idea of sprinkling them in with the potting soil of a large houseplant or container garden, but it would have to be something super hardy that wouldn't die. If I kill the houseplant Isabelle's ashes are buried in, it would be like losing her all over again. I was also given a small baggie with a bit of her fur in it. I haven't opened it though. I don't know if I want to feel it.

*The other morning I yelled for Lucy to get out of bed and I called her "Isabelle." That's a defining moment folks. That's a moment when you take stock of your emotional state and you tell yourself you need to get your poop in a group. I think ever since then I've been a bit more clear headed.

*I'm really thankful for all the people I've dumped on in the past few weeks. Not only here on the internet (I just can't say it often enough-my blog people are amazing and kind. Bloggers I hadn't heard from in months sent me email love), but also my two very good local friends Kim and Visty who have been over and have helped me deal. You know someone is a good friend and truly loves you when they don't mind that you have a very old, kinda smelly, cat living out her last few days just inches from your dining room table. They were gentle and respected the fact that Isabelle was (and still is) important to me. I only hope I can return the kindness when needed.


Visty said...

I wouldn't know what to do with ashes, either. I carried around the ashes of my childhood cat for years. The tin was ugly so I didn't display it. I hated picking it up and hearing the ashes shake, more like rocky sand. Not what I expected and it disturbed me a bit. One day I gave the tin to my mom. I slipped it into her stuff the last time we visited her. I couldn't handle that level of responsibility anymore. Maybe someday if you decide to buy a house, you can bury her ashes in your backyard.

I'm glad you are coming out of the fog, friend. It's so hard.

Daphne said...

Hugs, big hugs. You might want to just keep her ashes...

She was a special girl, and deserves the time spent mourning. Be easy on yourself, and do what you need to do.

just me said...

Losing a pet so hard, glad to hear you are feeling a little better. There is a lady I think in Roseburg Ore. who takes ashes and makes jewelry with them, so you have a peice of them with you but in a stone. I wish I remembered where I saw the article, it might have been in our paper-Spokesman Review. But if I remember right she said something like each peice came out different, almost like their aura was the color the glass turned.

Tammie said...

just me: oooh this is fascinating! i might have to look into this.

kashoan said...

Oh sweet girl, Sorry to hear about Isabella. This makes me sad to know that you are hurting.
Hang in there sister. Smile! :) You are amazing!