Don't be fooled by the handsome face. Chances are, he's thinking about being up to no good.
* Julius is spunky and fun and a great diversion, but he's no Isabelle. He doesn't smell, feel, or snuggle like Isabelle. I'm okay with that though. In fact, I'm mostly okay in general. There are moments, of course. Moments when I miss her so much that I feel it in my bones. But yeah, I'm mostly okay.
* I don't know what to do with Isabelle's ashes. They are in a lovely little tin on a shelf in my living room. I feel like I should do something special with them though. I like the idea of sprinkling them in with the potting soil of a large houseplant or container garden, but it would have to be something super hardy that wouldn't die. If I kill the houseplant Isabelle's ashes are buried in, it would be like losing her all over again. I was also given a small baggie with a bit of her fur in it. I haven't opened it though. I don't know if I want to feel it.
*The other morning I yelled for Lucy to get out of bed and I called her "Isabelle." That's a defining moment folks. That's a moment when you take stock of your emotional state and you tell yourself you need to get your poop in a group. I think ever since then I've been a bit more clear headed.
*I'm really thankful for all the people I've dumped on in the past few weeks. Not only here on the internet (I just can't say it often enough-my blog people are amazing and kind. Bloggers I hadn't heard from in months sent me email love), but also my two very good local friends Kim and Visty who have been over and have helped me deal. You know someone is a good friend and truly loves you when they don't mind that you have a very old, kinda smelly, cat living out her last few days just inches from your dining room table. They were gentle and respected the fact that Isabelle was (and still is) important to me. I only hope I can return the kindness when needed.