Thursday, August 16, 2012

Random Thoughts

Pour yourself a drink, grab a snack, and make sure you're comfy because the length of this post might make up for the fact that I haven't blogged in almost a month.

*I suppose the biggest piece of news I have is that this month Jay and I filed for bankruptcy. I've gone back and forth about whether or not to share that with the internet. On the one hand, it's a deeply personal thing that could potentially open us up for ridicule and nasty comments from the occasional troll who finds their way to this space. But on the other hand, a lot of people file for bankruptcy and even more people have financial crap going on, and there is a big part of me that wants them to know they aren't alone.  I've already told a handful of people about this and every one of them either spoke of knowing someone who's gone this route, or they themselves have. Sadly, it's the norm.

When Jay and I first started this process three months ago, I was feeling pretty shitty about the whole thing and even before that there were a lot of mental gymnastics I did, trying to wrap my brain around the possibility that we might need to be people who file for bankruptcy. I thought a lot about my debt. What I could pay, what I couldn't. The short sale of our house in Florida frightened me, I didn't want that hanging over our heads forever. Ultimately though, the deciding factor for us was our children. We want to make their lives easier, and that wouldn't have happened with the amount of debt we had.

In less than a month the boy will start high school. College is not far off. Right now, he wants to be a Psychiatrist. Of course, that could always change, but if it doesn't, I want to help him reach that goal. My daughter routinely mentions wanting to be a Doctor. She also thinks 'being famous' is a career choice, so her plans could change. But if they don't, I want to help her too.

Filing for bankruptcy is quite a process. We had to compile all the needed information, pay a bunch of  money, and take a really boring credit course. We had a great, totally competent, non-slimy lawyer though who did most of the real work. (Seriously, if you're in the Portland area and you need a bankruptcy lawyer, I know a guy.)

In the end, I'm glad it's all over with, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted, and I'm really optimistic about our financial future.

In other news:

 *The kitten is growing far too fast. I want him to stay a kitten forever. He's incredibly passive, allows Lucy to manhandle him in the name of love and snuggles, and he adores the dog.

Lately though, he's been killing Barbie dolls and bringing me their heads, which is slightly creepy.

*Back in April, when Jay and I went to see Rachel, we both signed up to volunteer this election season.     As awful as it sounds, volunteering for me usually ends at the sign up process. After that, I go home and hope I don't get called or maybe just don't answer the phone if I do. Well, I married a people person who actually does answer the phone, so our asses are volunteering. Last night we went to our first neighborhood meet and greet. I volunteered to do data entry, help with voter registration, and do prep work for a DNC viewing party. I may have over committed. There was a lot of wine at this meet and greet.

*My new favorite show is The Newsroom.  I've also watched Bridesmaids about seven times this month. I wish I knew more women like Megan. I could use a Megan type pep talk from time to time.

*Did I mention my son starts high school soon?! Eeek! He's 14, taller than I am, and to the unfocused eye, looks like an adult. But, upon closer inspection, he's still just a dopey kid. This afternoon when I came home from work, he and I watched General Hospital with the sound turned down and created our own dialogue. It was awesome and I loved it. I try not to think about the fact that with every passing day we're creeping up on the tail end of our time together under the same roof.

*Lucy is as spunky and glorious as ever. I've already bought all of her back to school clothes, all of them picked out by me because in her words, "It doesn't matter what clothes you wear." (No, it doesn't. But I'm still going to try my best to buy you the good stuff babe!) I hope she stays this way forever.

Well gosh, I guess that's a proper update. It's been a weird few months. I've had way more on my to-do list than I'm comfortable with but I've gotten through it. The next month or so looks to be busy as well but it's all fun stuff, no lawyers involved.

(Also, I really hope to catch up on all of your blogs within the next week or so. I miss my people.)


KiltiMcManus said...

Some people view bankruptcy as financial planning, which truely it is. After you get through this ordeal you will be offered all sorts of credit cards to re establish your former good credit, in this day, it is not held against you. I understand you feel bad, but that is why bankruptcy exists, to give people a new beginning. Don't feel bad, just don't make the same mistakes again.

Nowheymama said...

I really appreciate you sharing what's going on with your family. I think this is a financially difficult time for a lot of people, and it's helpful to hear other stories.

Also, I love the kitty in the doll stroller. Love.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

so much to say but I think i may save it for private.

Just love ya Tammie!

And I too want a Megan. I'm chubby does that help?

Me said...

I appreciate your openness and real-ness, thanks for sharing. Finances are so annoyingly integral to life. It sounds like you made a well thought out difficult decision that was right for you and your family. All the best as you move forward!

Violet Marbles said...

I'm writing you a letter to send with Lucy's because my reply to your post would be "blog-napping" if I posted in your comment session! LOL

Tammie said...

kilti: thank you for the kind words.

nowhey: thank you! i feel like if what i wrote makes someone feel a little less cruddy, then it was worth it.

peggy: i love you too! as i mentioned before, we will be each others megan. :)

carla: thank you! and yes, there was a thought given to this before making a final decision. it was not something we took lightly.

miss violet: i cannot wait!

Daphne said...

I'm glad you guys are moving forward with your lives -- totally the right decision for your family.

And kitty is SO CUTE.

hester said...

Good luck with it Tammie. You and Jay sound like you have a lot of determination and smarts so I've no doubt you'll be back on your financial feet in no time.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

You do what you gotta do. The economy SUCKS right now. No judgement from here!
I just saw a thing on Facebook that said "that moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor, and you don't know whether to be proud or scared!" Personally I'm proud! lol
My youngest child starts MIDDLE SCHOOL on Monday. I am still in denial.
I love the pic of the kitty in the stroller!

Jessie B said...

you did it! brave lady, i thank you. much love. J

Liesl said...

Your kids sound fantastic. Be careful what you wish for though. My brother and I are 27 and still home. ;) (My parents jokingly complain about it, but they love having us here.)

Speaking of our household, we are in a tough boat here too. Although my brother and I (and my Grandmother) pitch in with rent, my Dad is the major breadwinner here and he just lost his job of 26 years. Kind of a delicate time, wondering what all is going to happen.

Anyway, I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

This quote by Fitzgerald kind of comes to mind: "Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall."