Sunday, July 1, 2012

Random Thoughts

*Lately my daughter keeps talking about church and how she wants to go. Jay and I, of course, have no interest in this but we're trying to be supportive. My friend Kim goes to a very welcoming, non-judgy church so I'm thinking of allowing the girl to tag along with her. This is weird territory for me to be navigating but I remember Daphne once telling me how when she was growing up her parents allowed her to explore a lot of different faiths, even some of the more off beat ones. And since I respect Daphne and think she has a pretty healthy take on religion and god, I think the idea of letting the girl go with a trusted friend will be the route we take. Now I think I may need to buy the girl some church shoes.

*Is anyone else loving the new Fiona Apple album as much as I am? (I know Jessie is.)

*I've been tinkering around with the layout of the blog and I'd love to hear your thoughts. It looks good on my end but I'd love to know if there is anything weird going on when you view it on your phone or a different size screen. I've increased the size of the pictures A LOT. Are they vulgar big?

*July is a big month for our family. Jay and I will have been married for 15 years and the boy will turn 14. I predict a lot of cake this month.

*I read this really good article in More magazine about friendship. Specifically, the article was about how one woman's rejection by her close friend led her to become a better friend. Towards, the end of the article the author writes this:

I tend my friendships better now. I listen more and gently probe beneath the surface of things. More often, I remember the occasion or make the date, even though the timing may be less than convenient. Friendship isn’t convenient. People don’t know by telepathy that you care, and you can’t keep them suspended in time until you’re ready. So I make dates rather than mere promises. 

I'm not always the best friend. Not a bad friend, but a lazy one. I don't always answer the phone when I should, I suck at remembering important dates, I take too long to answer e-mails,  and I rarely initiate things like meet ups or coffee dates. I should do these things because I always feel better when I do, but on a day to day basis, it just doesn't occur to me to be the type of person who does these things. 

Fortunately, I have a lot of people in my life right now to help me with this. 

A few weeks back my family went over to Visty's house for dinner and games. The night was a success. Our families got along-even the moody teenage members-and there were moments I laughed so hard my sides hurt.  But when Visty and I were setting it up, she said, "We need to just do this. We need to set a date and make it happen." I agreed, but added that it's just so much easier to go home and take off my bra and get into my jammies. She said, "Yeah, I know, but you can take your bra off at my house."
I think that's my new requirement for all future friends: Can I take my bra off at their house?


Daphne said...

You can totally take your bra off at my house.

I think it's a great idea to let the girl go to church with a trusted friend. I went to all kinds of churches with friends -- Baptist, Foursquare, Baha'i, Mormon, New Thought, Unitarian. I don't attend any church regularly, but I learned a ton and respect (most) faiths. I think it made me a more open-minded person in the end.

Congratulations on 15 years!! And for raising such great kids. Good job, you two.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I think it's great when people let their children explore different religions.
Posts like these make me wonder how different my life would have been if I'd been raised by open-minded parents.
You can totally take your bra off at my house. If you trip over your girls, don't sue me!

Maria Rose said...

I struggle to make friendships a priority, mostly due to my very constricted time. I find that if I don't make time with friends I only have acquaintances and those feel might empty, so I too make the effort.

Tammie said...

thank you to all who will let me go braless at your house!

cyndy: oregon is really great in regards to actually having a lot of churches TO explore. (see daphne's comment above.) i had never even heard of baha'i or foursquare unitl moving here. as you well know, we just don't have them in the south.

maria rose: that's how it is here too. i've learned i really have to make my friends a priority , along with work and family stuff.

Me said...

I often feel like I don't do enough as a friend. But I do what I can when I can and thankfully my friends still seem to like me!

Not Hannah said...

My friends and I are also in the "GAWD, we never make time to hang out" mode and we're trying to fix that. I think it is less an issue of not having time for us than it is actually forcing ourselves to DO it, so the bra thing is ringing true for me. I, in fact, am not wearing a bra right now. I'm not sure what implication that has in your life, but, you know, there it is.

I love the daisy pic in your header, but for me it is humongous. I don't know if you want more pic/less content in your header or what, but that's what I'm seeing.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

it's funny how one person reads the same thing and has a different take away. I read that article...well only the 1st part because she was angering me. She sounded like a petulant child. Now I will go back and read it in full this time. I must have missed something.

It will be very interesting to hear your daughters take after going to church. It may just be nothing more than a curiosity because it is not something that is done in your familiy.

Tammie said...

peggy: the author DEFINITELY gets more likable at the end of the article.

Visty said...

I LOVED your family and can't wait to get together again soon!

mandy said...

tammie, do you guys have a unitarian church in your neighborhood? we loved the UU 'church' in philly, the one here, not so much, but i love their ideology.

and i love that quote about friendship, very timely for me right now.

i hope you and your jay have a wonderful anniversary, me and my jay have an anniversary this month as well.

p.s. you can totally take your bra off at my house

hester said...

I think it's great to let kids learn about as many different religions as possible and we emphasise that the majority have a lot in common when it comes to values like love and respect.

My favourite friends are the ones who are happy to hang out at our houses while wearing no bras and comfy pajamas. They are the best friends to have!