You may have noticed that my son doesn't pop up too often on the blog anymore. This is mainly because now that he is a wise adult man of 13, he doesn't want to participate in something so silly as "Mom's Blog." It all works out though, because his negative feelings towards my blog coincide nicely with my negative feelings towards him. See? There is a reason for everything.
Okay, I may be exaggerating a little bit. My son is basically a good kid and when it comes to the big things, he mostly aims to please and tries his best to stay out of trouble. Out of both of my children, he's the one most like me, we have a fairly easy relationship and he's always open with me, which I love. But sometimes lately I have a hard time thinking of anything nice to say about him. Being a teenager apparently means that if given the opportunity to piss me off, he's gonna piss me off. I spend a large portion of my time getting on to him for the same things over and over again. I hate repeating myself but yet it seems that me repeating myself is an integral part of our relationship. And I don't like that.
It's mostly just the usual kid stuff: Don't fight with your sister. Do your chores without me having to ask 10 times. Turn off the video games. Read more books. And so on and so forth and blah blah blah. As irritating as all that is, I can deal with it. What really bugs me though is that my son is incredibly lazy and mostly unmotivated. Not only does this piss me off, but it worries me as well. I don't want to raise a bum but it seems as if I am. Honest to god, it amazes me how little this child can do on a daily basis. Is this typical teenage boy behaviour? Will something just 'click' in his brain one day and he'll realize that all my nagging was done for the sole purpose of turning him into a respectable, responsible individual?
For his part, he doesn't think he's lazy and it's not as if he plans to live with us forever. He has this grand delusion that he'll find 'a job' where he has to work very little but yet gets paid very much. Jay and I have tried to explain to him that those jobs are quite rare and everyone in the world wants one. He's eyeing an intensely competitive job market.
I suppose a lot of what I'm feeling is frustration. And maybe a little disappointment. I'm frustrated because when it comes to teenage boys, I don't know what is normal and what is not. And if this isn't normal, I don't know how to fix it. I'm disappointed that I don't feel proud of my son on a daily basis. I don't know if I'm disappointed in him or myself. Maybe a little of both.