Friday, February 18, 2011

And There You Have It

So, it's raining here. And has been for about four days. The ground is so wet that if you stand in one spot for too long, your feet sink in as if you're standing in quicksand. Fine, whatever. I truly like the rain and I've gotten used to the mud.

This afternoon I look at the clock and realize that I need to take the dogs out. So I hook the leash on Liz and grab my keys, figuring I'd check the mail while I'm over that way. After Liz did her business and after checking the mail, we're heading home when the girl suggests we take the "short cut" home. The short cut is basically just the well maintained field in the middle of the apartment complex. We walk through the short cut all the time when the weather is clear but I try to avoid it when it's rainy because there tends to be a lot of standing water and mud.

For some stupid reason I said "Sure, let's take the shortcut." What could possibly happen, right? We're walking along when something startled my (very wimpy) dog. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe she heard a train or a truck in the distance or maybe someone somewhere was just ripping off a sheet of tin foil because that has the same effect on her as a train coming down the tracks. Whatever the case, she got spooked, took off running and pulled me down into the mud.

I yelled for the dog to stop and then I stood up, wet and covered in mud from head to toe. I gathered up my mail, which had flown all over the common area. I walked back home, near tears.

Now I'm home. I've showered and changed. I've scraped the mud off of the cover of Jay's Esquire magazine. (It's a good cover too! I'm sorry Liam Neeson.) I've had a therapeutic cry. The kind of cry that comes after the horrifically perfect ending to an exhausting week. I've cleaned the mud off of everything I was wearing, including, inexplicably my bra. (Not sure how that happened. Did my boob fall out of my shirt when I tried to catch myself from falling?? Do I need to add insult to injury and just assume that all my neighbors saw my sensible beige granny bra?)

I'm calling it quits for the week. I went to the grocery store today. I have enough food and wine to get me through the weekend. I'm going to hole up in my apartment, read my book and watch my Netflix dvd. After I clean the mud off of it.

If everything goes as planned, I'll be back on Monday with a giveaway. Have the loveliest of weekends.

17 comments:

The WoodLand School said...

Oh ugh! What a dreadful end to the week!

Well ... if anything can provide cheer for you, I'm sure Jemaine and wine will do it!

Tammie said...

im very excited about this dvd. i love them.

Daphne said...

I am soooo sorry. The only worse Oregonian thing to add to that is when you stand up, covered in mud, and you have slugs (plural) in your hair. i hope everyone and everything recovers soon. Ick.

However, I do love the fact that the title of your book has "Flaming Tantrum of Death" in it.

Tammie said...

oh my god. yes, thankfully no slugs. they may have put me over the edge.

Carla said...

I slipped on some ice a while back and fell right onto my backside in a puddle. I didn't need a shower or have to clean but I did require a change of pants and underwear! Not fun! Enjoy your movie and wine sounds like a fantastic idea.

Dani said...

Boo to mud. Enjoy the wine and time on the couch.

Me and "Francis" will be baking some vegan muffins and something with chocolate.

The Mr. brought me a vegan chocolate chip cookie tonight and I swear I almost had an orgasm. Cucumbers and quinoa just don't pack the same punch.

red raven said...

Oh that sucks.Sometimes I think it would be better to have a good friend with you at all times so when things like this happen, atleast you have someone there to laugh manically with, instead of furtively looking around hoping no one saw you. Atleast this is my new theory,developed after I slipped under a bus full of teenage hockey players.
Enjoy the wine!You deserve an extra glass!

Tammie said...

red raven: i completely agree! when you're with a friend you can laugh it off and just pretend you are quirky and care free. otherwise, youre just a lonely mud person.

teenage sports players greatly intimidate me still. (and im 34)you have my utmost sympathies.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Oh Tam this really was a very bad week for you. I'm sorry.

It has to be better week upcoming....if not stock up on that wine!

Nowheymama said...

I hope you are feeling better this morning!

jessie at luna pacifica said...

Oh my gawd that sucks! So sorry!
Would it make you feel better to know I chuckled about it? ;-)

mandy said...

have an extra glass of wine for your pregnant friend who could also use a drink.

man, i didn't fall in the mud this week, but i could have seen it happening.

i'm glad that at least you got a good cry afterwards, sometimes that helps so much.

kraftykash said...

Way to take control and call it a day, girl! I would have let that affect me negatively all weekend. Hope yours was good :)

~ The Jolly Bee ~ said...

Oh Tammie. Poor you. I wish we were neighbors. I'd come over and share a glass of wine with crackers and hummus and we could totally commiserate about sucky days.

If it makes you feel any better, I ended Friday by sending out a memo to about 70 employees who are ticked off about a new payroll system we've adopted at work. I basically told them to accept it....And, I ended the memo with "end of conversation." OMG -- I say that to my kids. I think I'm fried! I don't want to go back to work. Ever.

Lia said...

Oh shit. That sucks, but I just laughed out loud at the thought of slugs in your hair, too. Actually, I'm still laughing. It could be the wine.

I hope your next week is full of rainbows and unicorns!

Run Lori Run said...

Ha, it has been very soggy here. Now to be snowy, hopefully. You know how Portland STANDS STILL when we get an inch of snow... Can't wait to watch the STORM WATCH on the news...

Pam said...

You made me chuckle out loud, which startled my sleeping dog, with the line "ripping off a sheet of tin foil".