Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Used Tampon

There is a used tampon in the parking lot of my apartment complex.

It's right in the middle of an unmarked parking spot next to spot 198. I'm giving you these specifics in case you want to come look at it.

Now I certainly can't say that I know all of my neighbors well. But I do spend a lot of time walking the neighborhood and I exchange hellos with people, and it's hard for me to imagine that any of my neighbors would change their tampon outside in the middle of the parking lot. Plus, given its location (literally in the middle of the parking spot), I choose to believe it fell out of someones garbage bag. We apartment dwellers are known for slapping our full garbage bag onto the hood of our car and driving it over to the dumpster. Maybe there was a hole in the bag and as this poor woman drove off, out fell the tampon. Then when this gal comes home, she parks her car in her spot, having no idea her used tampon is underneath her vehicle.

I first noticed the tampon on Sunday when I was walking the dog. I had hoped one of the maintenance guys would take care of it. We have three really nice, hard working maintenance guys. I have no complaints about them. But they are not touching this thing. Up until today there had been no rain and the tampon had begun to dry out and you could almost convince yourself that it wasn't a used tampon, maybe just a wad of bloody tissue. Yep, that's it. Someone had a nose bleed. But now, it's raining again and the tampon has swelled. And there is no mistaking it for anything but a used tampon.

I've almost picked it up myself. When I'm walking the dogs I always have a couple of bags with me. I could pick it up. I think about picking it up. But I just can't bring myself to do it. Here's the thing, I don't consider myself above any type of labor. If I had to pick up used tampons everyday to support my family, I would do it. But I wouldn't be getting paid for this. I would be doing this out of the kindness of my heart and apparently my heart is cold and bitter because I'm totally going to have a What's in it for Me? attitude about picking up this tampon. And as far as I can tell, there is NOTHING in it for me other than the fact that I won't have to look at it anymore. And frankly, the whole thing is not that big of a deal to me. I don't have to walk that way. But I'm still gonna. Because now I'm on tampon watch.

By my count, tomorrow will be five days.

25 comments:

Maria Rose said...

Maybe it can be a science experiment and we can all learn how long it takes to decompose...or to attract the wildlife (barf).

Tammie said...

maria rose: ooh good call. so, um... should i start taking pictures?

Not Hannah said...

This is one of the most awful, awesomely funny things I've ever read. (And yet another excuse for me to continue using my Diva Cup. So thanks for that.)

I'm totally on board with the science experiment. TOTALLY.

Maria Rose said...

No pictures please and I am sorry to say the KB can't make it out your way until May...and I really hope it is gone by then!

Tammie said...

heather: i know right?!?! as if i needed more reasons to use my Cup, lets add to the list the fact that i regularly dont have to worry about it being on display in the parking lot.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Ah, we can skip the photo's. This is just gross.

My husband has taken clean, new tampons and sprayed them with some damn thing and tied them to our peach trees. He claims it kept the deers away. Apparently it did work for the deer......the neightbors not so much. But at least they were unused.

Keep us posted on this tampon count down.
Sad that my life has come to this....something to look forward to, how many days it takes to get picked up and thrown away properly.

Tammie said...

peggy: WHAT? so you had tampons on the trees in your yard? i just dont know how id feel about that. but then again, i have a used one that is essentially in my driveway and i cant be bothered, so who am i to judge?

and yes i will keep you updated.

Th3 Black Hole said...

I am so morbidly grosses out and amused it's wrong!

(I just saw you post on Maria's blog and followed yours! The first I read definitely will keep me coming back!)

Hotch Potchery said...

I am trying to picture putting my trash on the hood of my car----now I can think about the tampon. I think I would pick it up, or some animal might get a hold of it and get sick, but ewwwww.

Daphne said...

1. That is awesome. And gross.

2. After her surgery, Terri had to have a raised toilet seat. After she didn't need it any more, she put it on the roof of her car. On the street. In full view of all the neighbors. And left it there. (as a joke.) Finally, after about 2-3 days of this, as I was getting into MY car, my nosy neighbor storms out of her house towards me, sticks her head in the window, and says, "Daphne! There is a GIANT TOILET SEAT on top of your other car!" All indignant. Through giggles I just said, "Really? Wow!" and then drove away. I did take it down that night. So maybe someone has a really odd sense of humor. Not that we have anyone like that here at our house.

Lia said...

Ha! That's nasty, but quite funny. Here in Texas, I have come across many used, nasty, swollen, and torn apart diapers in parking lots. People are freaking gross and inconsiderate. I love your whole thought process as to the reason why it's even there in the first place.

kraftykash said...

OMG I seriously just had wine come out of my nose. LMAO Do not take pictures or barf will be next. hahaha

Tammie said...

hotch: my dog always wants to sniff it. ick.

black hole: glad you were entertained.

daphne: ha ha ha. terri is such a prankster! i love it.

lia: i HATE when i see diapers. especially if its in like the target parking lot where you know it was NO accident that it got there.

kashoan: sheesh! fine, no pictures. you people are no fun!

Dani said...

I first read this on the reader app on my phone...bookmarked it and came back to it this evening. My first thought when clicking on your web page..."I wonder if she will post a picture with this one?"

Thank you for not doing so.

Hey...maybe you have that chick from that 90's band L7 living in your complex. She once took out a tampon *during their live set* and threw it out into the crowd.

Tammie said...

dani: I thought that too!!!!!

Jessie @Luna Pacifica said...

THAT is fcuking disgusting and now hilarious.

Alisha said...

this might me one of the funniest and simultaneously grossest things i've read in a long time. disgusting. :)

~ The Jolly Bee ~ said...

I'm glad your sticking to your principles and not picking the thing up. I think the only hope is that maybe a bird (a crow?) carries it off.

Crystal said...

*Tampon watch 2011*

I expect daily updates.

The WoodLand School said...

Ohmygod, Tammie! I love this post ... I love how you're on Tampon Watch, I love how it's blog-worthy, and I love how I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment.

And I can't stop laughing about Margaret/Peg/Peggy's Tampon Tree.

Once I had a neighbor come to my door and tell me she found a condom in my front yard after trash day. Did she want me to confess or something?!?!?!

Visty said...

Not only would I be compelled to look at it, and eventually begin looking FOR it, every time I walked outside, but I also wouldn't be able to avoid saying "hepatitis" inside my head every time.

Run Lori Run said...

She seriously threw it into the crowd????

My mom bought me a pair of jeans at a garage sale once when I was a kid and in the pocket was a used tampon. Still grosses me out.

Your tampon watch needs theme music and a logo.

Bridge said...

laughing here!!!

victoria said...

oh my god, you are so freaking FUNNY! yea, I'm borderline OCD, I can't stand cleaning my own toilet. I wouldn't go near that thing. Somehow baby poop and dog poop don't seem to bother me. Personally, I've always flushed tampons! Which makes me suspicious - someone may have changed it in the car. Maybe it was a major emergency, but leaving it there is just plain gross. Or, maybe someone threw in out the window as they drove by!

Anonymous said...

I hope it has been picked up by now.