This went over so well the last time I did it, I thought it was time I compiled another list of popular things that I hate.
*Victoria's Secret-What with the commercials, the numerous catalogs, and the icky runway 'show' that manages to somehow get past the TV censors every year, it's apparent that the media wants me to love VS and thinks that I should buy all of my fancy underthings there. But I haven't in years and I don't think I ever will again. I think most of their stuff is uncomfortable, tacky, or overpriced, and the store just feels very anti-woman to me. In my heart of hearts, I believe that VS doesn't make things that women find sexy, they make things that men find sexy and we're just supposed to squeeze into it and take it. Plus, time and experience has taught me that, although fancy unmentionables are nice, they certainly aren't necessary to get a man to have sex with you. The other morning Jay and I were laying in bed. I was wearing old sweats and an over sized Terminex tee shirt and the man couldn't keep his hands off of me. You know why? Because it was one of those rare moments when we both happened to be in the same place at the same time and there were no kids around. At this point in our marriage that's all it takes anymore. No $40 panties required.
*John Mayer-Why do attractive, successful women keep dating this giant douchebag? I just don't get it.
*Senior citizens-Okay, this one is going to get me into trouble, I can feel it. So before you call me ageist, let me explain.
As you all know, up until six months ago, I lived most of my life in Florida where the average age of the average citizen is 112. You can't go anywhere without overhearing some retiree complain about how better things were in their day. And let me tell you that if you work in a shoe store and an old person comes in you better be prepared for the hardest sale of your life. They want all their shoes to be hand sewn leather, made in America, and it better not be some wild color or have a heel like a "clod hopper." I couldn't tell you what a clod hopper was if my life depended on it but I do know that old people are very insistent that their shoe not look like one. Oh, and they want to spend about $14. If by some stroke of luck you have something like that in your inventory and you manage to pry their credit card from their tightly clenched fist long enough to sell it to them, there is a fifty-fifty chance they're going to return it.
I know a lot of people find really older folks cute and charming. I'm not one of those people. That being said, on the rare chance that I meet a spunky older person who maintains an active lifestyle that includes something other than lamenting the changes society has made in the last three decades, then I immediately love them and want to hear all their stories. But as luck would have it, I usually meet the grumblers.
*Chocolate candy-This one has come as a bit of a surprise to me, but I'm finding that as I get older my taste in candy is leaning more towards hard or fruity instead of my once beloved chocolate. The proof came to me this week when I noticed that I've had a giant bowl of chocolate Halloween candy on the table and not only have I barely been tempted, but I really don't even want it. Instead, I'm starting to actually enjoy eating candy that could also double as a throat lozenge. And Skittles. My dream is to one day be buried alive under an avalanche of Skittles and be forced to eat my way to safety.
*Self-Help Books-I avoid any book claiming to have "the secret" to anything. Not only do I just find them to be written by annoying people, but I also think they ultimately are not that helpful. I don't know if I know anyone who has actually read a self help book but they're always on the best seller list so their popularity can't be denied. Someone is reading them.
So tell me, what lately are you hating that everyone else seems to be loving?