One who loves animals and adoringly cares for his stupid little chihuahua even though she doesn't deserve it and repays him by loving everyone else in the family more.
One who, despite the many arguments and complaints, truly loves his sister and really doesn't mind her-in fact, will look out for her. And only hits her or yanks her hair sometimes.
One who doesn't mind that his best friend refuses to acknowledge that we live in another time zone and continues to call and text at four in the morning.
One who tries his best to take care of you when you're sick.
One who anxiously waits for his dad to come home from work because he just "likes it when Dad is home."
If you're really lucky, your twelve your old boy may balance his love of junk TV with an appreciation for better stuff like Curb Your Enthusiasm or anything with Ricky Gervais. He will also love 30 Rock as much as you do and will only occasionally make fun of your Alec Baldwin obsession.
And if you're really, really lucky, you may get a twelve year old who has an inherent knack for staying out of trouble and avoiding the bad kids. He'll choose friends who are just like him. They of course will be annoying at times. They'll stink up your house and eat all of your food, but are ultimately harmless.
So, despite the many drawbacks of having a twelve year old boy, they are a pleasure to have around and I'd advise you to get one of your own. Especially if you can find one like mine.
Happy Birthday Montgomery!