Monday, May 31, 2010

Weekend Wrap Up-The Sickness Edition

It all started last Thursday. Jay came home from work and told me he'd been sick most of the day with a headache and vomiting but around midday he took something and was feeling better. Let us pause a moment to discuss my husband's work ethic. On the one hand, obviously it's awesome and I know it's what's made it possible for me to stay home with the kiddos all these years. (Thanks Jay!) On the other hand, I just want to scream, "Dude, take a few hours off so you can puke in the comfort of your own home and not the trash can in your office." Moving on....

Saturday morning I woke up feeling iffy. I thought I'd be fine after coffee. I wasn't. Within an hour I had a headache so bad that I couldn't stand up without feeling barfy. So, not sharing Jay's work ethic, I went back to bed and stayed there the whole day. Jay had to go to work (this is a busy time of year for him) so while I was in bed the kids were left to fend for themselves Lord of the Flies style.

Let us pause, yet again, to discuss the work ethics of my children. The girl loves to help and is always willing to pitch in. But she's five, so without someone managing her, she doesn't really do much. And if she does, it's not in a way that is truly helpful. The boy is almost twelve. He does nothing without being told. In fact, he flies as low under the radar as possible so as to avoid being told to do anything. Needless to say, this will all be brought up at their yearly evaluations and I doubt anyone is getting any raises this year. Don't get me wrong, the kids took care of me while I was sick. They brought me tea and crackers, repeatedly warmed up my Happy Heat pack, and generally stayed close by just in case I needed something. But as far as cleaning the house goes....yeah, nothing got done.

By Saturday night I was feeling somewhat better. Jay was home from work and I was all set to continue lying in bed. This time with my husband and maybe a bit of True Blood. But then around 9:30, I heard it......the distinct sound of someone in the other room about to be sick. I arrived just in time to see the girl throw up her chicken nuggets. All. Over. Her. Bed. (Keep in mind the girl likes to sleep hotel style, with numerous sheets, blankets, pillows and a duvet.) I cleaned her and her room up the best I could and made her a bed on the floor next to me.

I next went to the kitchen to find something to reduce her fever. I clicked on the light and was met with splatters of play doh everywhere. It would appear that a small play doh battle had taken place while I was sick in bed. But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst was waiting for me at the edge of the carpet, a pile of steaming dog crap. Apparently, the boy (the one NOT getting a raise this year) had been a bit lackadaisical when walking the dog. Nice. I cleaned that up, got the girl her medicine, and went to bed.

No one slept well that night. The girl talks in her sleep when healthy. When feverish and ill her sleep talking becomes weird, loud, and delusional. For instance, she repeatedly called out for me to "burst the water balloon." Don't know what that's about.

My Sunday was spent nursing the girl back to health, doing seven(!!!!) loads of laundry, and steam cleaning the carpets. Because it makes no sense to drag the steam cleaner out for one spot. Why not do the whole apartment, says the crazy woman high on Day Quil.

Now it's Monday. A holiday. Jay's at work (again, it's a busy time of year for him). I'm still catching up on laundry, dealing with a whiny girl, and pumping the boy full of vitamin c in hopes that he'll avoid catching the bug that plagued the rest of the family.

How was your weekend?


Daphne said...

Well, no steaming piles of dog crap at our house, so score for us! My goodness, what a bad weekend. I had to admit that the play-doh and dog crap scene had me laughing out loud.

Although this happened last night:
The scene: around midnight, me in bed, half asleep, with an eye mask on (Terri's reading light is very bright).

I sort of became aware that Terri was talking to me from across the room. I couldn't hear anything but mumbles, so I sat up and took off my mask. I look up in the dark room to see a big flashlight pointed at me, police-style, and Terri demanding, "Do you have to go to the bathroom? I'll walk you in there if you do."


After going around and around, with her repeatedly asking me if I had to go to the bathroom and me becoming more and more puzzled, saying, "Why... should I? Do you know something I don't know?" and her becoming more frustrated with me, eventually it comes out that I missed the part of the conversation where she told me there was a GIANT spider in the hallway, and she figured we should all go to the bathroom now and then tightly shut to door so as avoid being massacred by said giant spider.

Which cracked me up. I got up, looked at the spider (which was as big as the house... no, actually it was about as big as my thumbnail, but you know how it goes in the middle of the night). Captured the spider in a Tupperware and put him outside and went back to bed, but not before pantomiming to Terri the whole "DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!?" scene and causing her to nearly fall over laughing.

No sign of spidey this morning. He was smart and took off.

Daphne said...

Oh and also: yuck! Hope everyone feels better this week!!

Tammie said...

daphne: HA! just picturing terri with a flashlight gave me a chuckle.

middle of the night bugs are the worst! why are they so much larger at night? back in florida i would occasionally see roaches in the bathroom at night and i could never sleep after that. fortunately, no roaches in oregon. at least i havent seen any.

Dani said...

My weekend? Infinitely better than yours, by the sound of it.

I'm sorry the plague has hit your humble abode. Puke sicknesses are *the worst*. I'd rather have swine flu again...for me and The Offspring. I pray The Mr. not have a sniffle or hangnail.

I hope you are all on the mend and that the laundry is soon caught up. As much as I hate laundry, I'd help you fold a couple of loads.

hester said...

Oh, what a nightmare. I feel your pain. Makes our weekend sound like a walk in the park. (Only one member of the family vomiting and being 7 she managed to make it either to the wooden floor or the vomit bowl).

I was quite looking forward to escaping into the city to work today but Em is still unwell so I am trying to work from home (without all the files I need - a bit of a challenge).

I'm impressed though that your children let you rest peacefully in bed and brought you stuff, dog poo and play doh fight not withstanding. Hope everyone is better soon.

Penny said...

have I mentioned the barfy flu is my WORST FEAR? Must go eat some hand sanitizer!

(oh yeah and I'm sorry for you guys!)

~ The Jolly Bee ~ said...

Well, my weekend was better than yours. Sorry. I hope you all got that out of your system and bluer skies are in your future. You do have a way of telling a story.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Oh jeez I'm so sorry about your weekend. I hope your family is better soon and the Boy doesn't get sick!

I would have preferred your weekend! Mine was worse and yet no one was ill. Hmmm.....

Theresa said...

oh ick! how terrible. Though I had to laugh at the girl's delusional sleep talking. My older sister was notorious for that and we STILL tease her about it. Hope you all feel better and that the boy misses out on the barfing.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Well, yuck. That is no fun at all!
Thanks for linking up.

Shalet said...

None of us were sick but my house does not look any better. This was a weekend I worked and that means complete destruction of the house. Today will be coffee and then off to clear a path to the front door. :o)

Maria Rose said...

Ugh, I'm just sorry. My weekend was better, but involved my baby girl squatting on the carpet and peeing, a dog with a urinary tract infection squatting on the carpet and urinating. So we've been steam cleaning too!

kraftykash said...

OMG, you have master skills at telling a story. Im glad the kids took care of you. Thats really sweet. I hate laundry, epsecially puke laundry. I hope its all gone from your house. :)

R.H. Ducky said...

aww, sorry about the sickness. i hope you are all better soon! we had a medical situation at our home this weekend too. which really is pretty normal around here.

i am BAD about talking in my's pretty much always weird and delusional. many of my past girlfriends have found this quite amusing.

Tammie said...

maria rose: that is far too much urinating.

alicia: i hope your medical situation ended well. i know you're dealing with something a bit more serious than a tummy bug. :)