Jay first introduced me to the Christian Side Hug video a few months back when he saw it...um...somewhere on the internet. I want to say The Huffington Post, but I'm not sure.
The basic gist of this song by a Christian rap group (I know, right?!?!) is that frontal hugs are indecent and lead to impure thoughts. So if you're not married yet, you need to stick to the "side hug." Gay folks, I don't know where this leaves you. Just avoid hugs altogether I suppose. Or "side hug" everyone to cover all the bases. Or probably more likely since these are evangelicals, just, you know, don't be gay. Anyway, here's the video. Please watch it, if only for a moment, so that you can experience the agony that I felt the first time I heard it. Misery loves company.
Now let's list just a few of the many, many reasons I hate this song.
One: We are talking hugs here people! Hugs. Is this what it's come to? I consider a hug to be one of the more basic forms of human contact and I rarely think of it as sexual. In fact I would venture to say that never in my life has a hug directly led to sexual activity. How sad is it that we as a society have gotten this paranoid?
Two: This line: When I hug people I leave room for the Holy Spirit. I'm sorry, but I just think that's weird.
Three: A few seconds into the song there is this verse, along with sounds of gun shots and ambulance (or police?) sirens in the background:
Stop and listen
No front hugs and no kissin'
I ain't that scared to call your momma
You'll be ridin' home in a coma
Wow. What form of Christianity is it that views frontal hugs as impure, but considers it okay to put someone into a coma? I'm not sure if that's hypocrisy or just naive stupidity. Either way, I find it kind of nauseating and scary.
Four: As much as I hate this song, and believe me I truly hate it, it's catchy as hell and after I've heard it once, it's in my head all day long. My family uses this knowledge to their advantage, routinely side hugging me and rapping a bit, knowing I'm going to be tortured all day long.
So tell me, what are your thoughts on the side hug? If you're a Christian, do you think this is going overboard a bit?
*Lyrics can be found here.