Saturday, March 27, 2010

One of the Many Reasons I'm Drinking Wine Before Five

Holy Mother of Pearl!!

I've mentioned before that this isn't the first time I've sold a house. The last time I was in this position my experience wasn't great, but it was heavenly compared to what has taken place this time around. The level of unprofessionalism, inconsideration, and sheer ignorance I've had to deal with has seriously started me thinking that there has got to be something in the water around here and that I better hurry up and get my family out before we devolve into single celled organisms.

Words of advice to those looking to buy a home, specifically my home:

Just because I have a For Sale sign in my yard, does not mean it's okay to run up to the front of my house and peer in the windows. It's also not okay to walk around to the side of my house and peer into my son's window. Didn't you see the bikes? Or, you know, the curtains?

Then, when I come out my front door and glare at you, it's really not ok to be like, "Whut? I didn't think nobody lived here."

There are a few phone numbers on the aforementioned For Sale sign. Call them, set up an appointment, and then I will be more than happy to welcome you into my home.

If, for whatever reason, you don't want to call those numbers, grab a phone book and call any of the other 350 real estate agents in this town. I'm sure they'd all jump at the chance to possibly make a few bucks.

Why has it fallen on my shoulders to educate this back woods, podunk town on proper home buying protocol?

I know that it's a buyers market and that I, as a seller, basically have to bend over and take whatever these potential buyers want to give me, but really, What is wrong with people?!?!

I'm starting to think that this house isn't going to sell until I'm out of it and have blown town. I feel myself getting an attitude.


Lia said...

Mmmmm. I'd love to be drinking wine right now, or Sangria. Too bad I can't join you!

I think you should get sloshy and then make a sign to stick next to the For Sale sign. One without words, but with crossed out icons depicting all of the no-no's involved with buying your home. Then maybe they'd get the idea.

Tammie said...

lia: sangria sounds wonderful.

and i think your idea is brilliant. im starting to get the impression that crossed out icons are all these people would understand.

hester said...

Give 'em what for, Tammie. What is wrong with people?

Dani said...

Mmmmm. Wine.

Me and Lia can make a road trip out of it and come share some wine. On you front lawn. We can get all schlickered and be there to personally field questions.

Tammie said...

hester: you have no idea. i am totally losing my cool.

dani: that sounds like an excellent idea. i think it would probably work much better than my way, which appears to be just to chase them off my lawn while waving a kitchen towel like a maniac.

Karen said...

When my parents sold their house last year it was the same thing: strangers walking through the yard, buyers who expected my parents to repair shit that wasn't broken, flaky real estate agents leaving the house unlocked, etc. And I've heard real estate agents complain about similar crappy behavior.

I do think it's because people misinterpret "buyers' market" to mean "cheap houses, come and get em." They act like it's a flea market.

When we sold our last house we dealt with none of this and I still drank myself silly many nights. Good luck.

Daphne said...

You should just start walking around naked and give them a show while they're being peepers!

kraftykash said...

OMG! People are really looking in your windows?!?!?!?!? You need a jar of vaseline by the front door. Geez! Hang in there, Mama. Give em hell with a smile. :D

Theresa said...

Wow... people are such morons!!! The house behind us is for sale. Thank goodness the owners aren't living there because we see people snooping around ALL THE TIME.

What's worse? When you buy a house and apparently the previous owners move without informing anyone they know. For at least 2 years, we had random strangers walking up to our house and asking us what we were doing here. They would peek in the windows and then call their relatives from the driveway. One guy almost called the cops on us. It was ridiculous!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I really like Lia's 2nd idea. That's a hoot. But overall people are dumb and ignorant and real estate people are on the top of that list! Realtor - i have yet to meet one who earns their commission.

I have no words for you except I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this Tammie.

~ The Jolly Bee ~ said...

I'd get an attitude too. I would seriously freak out if someone were to peer into my house. Fortunately, my dog has a sixth sense and she's always on high-alert for anyone who gets even remotely close to the house (including the mailman).

I don't really have a good excuse for drinking wine before five, but I'll join you -- cheers!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

I can't believe people come up and look in your windows. I think Daphne has a good suggestion.

Not Your Aunt B said...

I'm getting an ulcer just reading this. STRESSFUL!

CT said...

an attitude is not what i would be developing. A Karate chop, maybe. Or borrowing my dad's Rottie. What's wrong with people? last time I checked, manners were not abolished.

Girl, as long as you are packing, hop over to my blog and retrieve some awards. If you still have some boxes and packaging tape left. :D hang in there, sending hugs your way.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

Ugh. My husband and I are moving this summer, but we can't afford to sell our home in this market. I bet I'll have some pretty fun stories when we start renting the place out.

Have another glass and then post-up in a lawn chair next to the sign so you can read it to the doofus population that comes by to looky-loo.

ps- my word verification is sipperso. it's like the universe is telling you you're doing the right thing!

Maria Rose said...

Creepy, maybe you should post another sign in your yard with rules.

Mari said...

I remember creepy people knocking on our door and just wanting the insta-tour. I was home alone with small children and did not feel safe at all, told them to call the realtor : )

Penny said...

I think one of the worst times in my life was when we lived in NJ and we lived in a two family house that we RENTED but was on the market. People would peer in our windows and ring the doorbell any time of the day/night and want to come in. IT WASN'T OUR HOUSE. I DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT IF IT SOLD OR NOT. The realtors would call at 8 PM and want to come over right.then. I honestly felt like I was going to lose it sometimes. I hope you sell soon!