It would appear that all of my problems are solved.
I've just received word from the Russian Ministry of Finance that I'm entitled to receive an "outstanding payment valued at $5,350.000.00 USD (FIVE MILLION THREE HUNDREED AND FIFTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)." Obviously, I've never seen an amount so large in my life, so it was thoughtful of Mr. Anton Siluanov to type out the amount in actual words, but I was a bit disappointed that he spelled "hundred" wrong. Don't they have spell check in Russia?
I also don't understand why a letter of such importance was marked as spam. I need to notify Yahoo! to make sure that all future emails of this nature be sent to my inbox where they belong. What if I had just hit "Delete" and missed this opportunity?
Clearly, I'll never in my lifetime be able to spend this kinda money, so I thought I'd share it with all of you. Just leave a comment letting me know how much you need and as soon as the check clears, I'll pass it on to you.
Now excuse me while I go fax some personal information to Moscow.