Monday, January 11, 2010

On Goals

This past weekend I spent all my free time throwing things away. I know I've said this before but ever since Jay and I first put the plan in action to move our family to Oregon, I constantly look at everything in my house and ask the question, "Do I want to move that across the country?" Saturday I filled two trash bags with things I didn't want to move and I'm sure there are more to come.

I've been really optimistic this year about my goals and our impending move. That came to a crashing halt this morning.

Jay and I were discussing The Big Move, and we agreed it might be best to put it off a few more months, just to get our finances in better shape so that all aspects of the move are less stressful. We had planned to move this summer. We would like to move during the summer months so the kids school schedules aren't disrupted. So, that means we could be moving as late as summer of 2011. Ugh. This rips me apart inside because mentally and emotionally, I'm so outta here already. Everyday that I am alive here in Florida, seems like an eternity.

I'm definitely frustrated by this setback because I don't want to get complacent and continually put off the move until the conditions are "perfect." The way I see it, it's a move across the country with children and pets, the conditions are NEVER going to be perfect. But I also have to be realistic and I know that the move will be much easier with more money.

Of course there is always the option of pulling the kids out of school for a few weeks so that we can make the move when we are ready. But do I want to do that?

So that's where I'm at this morning. A little bit bummed. A little bit muddled. Trying to not drown it all with a mid morning glass of wine.

19 comments:

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Ooh Tammie that is not good Monday morning news. I hope something changes for you so that the summer of 2010 you are moving west.

But then again morning wine never hurt anything either. :-)

Penny said...

I really hope you get to move when you want, I know from experience how horrible it can be to live somewhere you just.hate.

When we recently moved from NJ to AL it was a great excuse to get rid of LOTS of stuff, and that is exactly how I rated things..."do I like this enough to 1. pack it 2. physicall move it 3. unpack it and 4. use it/display it again"...and a lot of times my answer was NO.

PS. I have been curious about where you wanted to move, and although I've never been to Oregon I considered moving to Portland at one time, it just SEEMS nice.

R.H. Ducky said...

aww, i'm sorry to hear that tammie. i know you've been really looking forward to the move.

BUT i think it's probably good that you're waiting. there have been times that i have decided on a thursday i wanted to move, and was out the door on friday. this usually makes for an interesting adventure...but not always an easy one.

kraftykash said...

The great thing about kids is that they adjust. So if that means pulling them out for a few wks, so be it. Keep going through stuff cuz it will make you feel better and get you one step closer to moving. Hang in there Mama. There is nothing worse than feeling stuck. Your doing a great job! Keep it up!!

Nowheymama said...

I've heard people say that they actually prefer moving in the middle of the school year because they feel their kids get more special attention then they do being new at the beginning of the year. Just a thought....

~ The Jolly Bee ~ said...

Hold off on the wine....Hang in there and try to enjoy each and every day. You're with your family and that's probably the most important thing. That being said, kids do adapt and missing school at their young ages may not be the worst thing. If you are that unhappy, just do it. A good friend once told me that there is no dress rehearsal for life. Try to be happy with whatever decision you make.

Maria Rose said...

Eric and I talk a lot about moving to Oregon. What city are you thinking of moving to?

Not Your Aunt B said...

Even though you may not move until the summer, you will have lots of moving planning to do before then that might make the last few months in FL tolerable. Like finding a new place to live! That always takes awhile. Plus what's going on in that city, the schools, etc. thinking about what your day trips will be, where are the parks, etc. I'm getting excited thinking about it and I'm not even the one moving!

NeuroClassyMommy said...

Wow. Being fairly new to your blog and getting to know your story, I'm so bummed to hear you in this situation! Why are you hoping to move to Oregon? What is the draw?
I know how frustrating it can be to feel stuck in a situation, wondering like the relief you're imagining will ever really happen...and feeling like it's getting further and further away. I know all too well. :(
I hope that you find peace in your world - whether it be finding a love in/of Florida, sticking it out till the "perfect" time (which, in my opinion, there never will be), or making choices and sacrifices to just make the best of an imperfect situation as quickly as possible.
Gees...now I want a glass of wine.
Hugs!

Dani said...

You sound like me and my current job situation. I feel for you. Really I do. I have no magic words. Only to hang in there. Oregon isn't going anywhere...you will appreciate it even more when you get there.

Hotch Potchery said...

We have done two half country moves (Al to Tx, then back) in the last 10 years and while it is easier with money, it isn't necessary!

I think you really have to figure out the bare minimum to survive and get the hell out of dodge!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Could waiting a few months coincide with a school break rather than waiting a full year? I agree with No Whey, Mama about moving during the school year. As a kid who never moved, it was so exciting to come in on a random Monday and have a new student in class.

And rather than a morning glass of wine...there's always a screwdriver so you can start the day w/vitamin C.

Daphne said...

Wah!! I hate that feeling. There are a number of things in my life which keep getting put off which sending me into a panic/anger fit each time. Big stuff, too. So frustrating. However, it WILL happen. Oregon in winter is cold and wet, but you'll get totally steeped in the rainy awesomeness and the summer will be that much more amazing. :) You know, if you wanted to move mid-winter. And then you can drive down and come see me. :)

Barefoot_Mommy said...

Awww, that SUCKS! I know how you feel. I would be so bummed! Especially since you're planning on moving to Oregon. How I would LOVE to live in Oregon.

Personally, I think that if you're going with the idea that the move will never come at the perfect time, than why wait a whole school year. The kids are young, they'll adjust just fine if they miss a couple of weeks.

If it makes you feel any better, I had my blood test today. I really am pregnant. LOL

alisha said...

Man I am soooo bummed for you. I just wrote about the same thing this morning too. I hope you all are able to move more quickly than anticipated!

Jessie said...

Patience grasshopper.

Never mind. Don't listen to me. When I have an idea that I crave, I stop at nothing. I'd take my kids out of school, move with 50$ in my wallet and make it happen. But that's just me.

Morning wine leads to after noon naps. Now is that so bad?
;-)
Impatiently yous,
J

Lia said...

I'm so sorry, Tammie. I hate it when I have my heart set on something wonderful and my husband has to come up with some damn totally reasonable and probably positive idea, that completely thwarts my happiness. Which has happened to me several times. It really pisses me off.

I think you should move whenever you have the money, as soon as you have the money. I think No Whey is right, the new kids can get more attention in the middle of the year than at the beginning of the year. The beginning of the year is all about seeing old friends, but by the middle of the year, kids are often ready for a change and a new face.

Mari said...

I hope it works out just the way you want! Either way, you have a plan to leave the southeast, and you will do it. Hang in there!

hester said...

Hey Tammie - just caught up with your blog. Sorry about your plans being on hold for a bit longer. Hang in there - things will work out.