I've mentioned before that I'm trying to drop a few pounds that I've put on this year, but what I didn't mention was that I'm still technically in my ideal weight range---just a bit higher on the scale than I would like to be. A few sources I've seen define "ideal weight" as the weight you should be for optimum health and warding off sickness.
Before my shower last night I was looking in the mirror and there is so much about my ass that is just wrong. When I look at my reflection, I see a lot that I don't like. But if I wanted to put a positive spin on it, I could say that my giant fat ass is helping my body ward off sickness.
In related news:
The peppermint bark has been made. The above picture represents all that's left. I'm glad it went over well because now I don't feel obligated to eat it all myself.
I used Paula Deen's recipe. (Since I don't like giant peppermint pieces in my chocolate, I crushed the candy canes a bit more than Paula suggested.) I have to admit that Paula normally scares me and I tend to avoid her recipes but this one was pretty straight forward. (In other words it didn't call for 6 cups of melted butter or half a tub of shortening.) I am interested in trying this layered peppermint bark recipe though, maybe next time. I also want to make another pumpkin pie. Only this time I'm doing it the Dani way, with a thick ol' homemade graham cracker crust.
But first, I have a boy to nurse.
20 comments:
So, are you telling us that your butt has superpowers?
You made me laugh out loud--there is so much wrong about my ass too. Even when I'm at my thinnest, I can find plenty wrong in that department. This is why we have no full length mirrors in the house.
i feel the same way, even when im at a weight that i like, the ass is just scary. SCARY!
full length mirrors are the work of the devil.
maria rose: possibly! apparently im just marketing my ass wrong.
I. Hate. My. Ass.
It is my least favorite part of my body. No matter my weight, I always hate it.
And as shallow as it sounds...and this is REALLY bad...but I wish for illness sometimes because it helps me lose weight. Stomach bug going around? No worries...if I get it I'll drop a few. Like you, I am in my ideal weight range, on the low end even. But I am still always chasing that elusive 10 pounds. And I honestly think I will until the day I die. It is who I am.
I hope your boy feels better. And I hope the pumpkin pie turns out.
I have to say that I love the idea of my fat ass protecting me from sickness. Maybe it wards against evil as well. And since my entire day's worth of food has basically consisted of sugar, mine isn't going anywhere anytime soon. I feel so safe.
When you do your pumpkin pie, used crushed up ginger snaps in place of the graham crackers to make the crust. It is a very subtle but delicious subsitution. I used ginger snaps for all of my pie crusts over thanksgiving and people kept saying, "This is so good! What did you put in here??!!!"
P.S.- It is kind of cheering to know that a big ass can help ward off germs. Just the excuse I need to have another holiday cookie. *LOL*
omg tammie, you make me laugh
Ah the joys of being a woman eh? I totally get it. Pregnancy really helps for the self-esteem and weight concerns too!
That being said - pass the peppermint bark!
Carla (I can't log on for some reason today)
I would choose the big bum over being sick. I just hate being sick. Women are meant to have big arses, I'm sure in another culture you would be seen as a highly fertile and desired goddess. So just think of yourself as the Voluptuous Goddess that you are. And it that doesn't work then stop looking in the mirror honey, at least don't turn around! xo
I think you're right, actually. People need a little bit of weight on them, especially in the winter. And hey, most men like a little extra in the back, you know? I'm never happy with my own behind, but then I see flat butts and I'm like, well, a little junk in the trunk isn't really a bad thing, actually. (just call me Sir Mix-a-lot) Own it, love it!
heehee, maybe that's why i never get sick! i refuse to look at myself in mirrors anymore, between the wrinkles and the dimples i'd rather not see! :)
Hi Tammie,
We've not yet "met" but I decided to follow your blog after I read some of the things you had to say about being an ex-witness. My husband's ex is a JW...and it's the scariest, most overwhelming thing I've ever had to deal with. I never knew a thing about JWs before this...and it's particularly difficult because they had a child together...he's 5 now...and she's raising him in that religion. Last year he was with us for Christmas and loved it all. This year, he's with her, and already brainwashed enough to say (to my children) "Christmas is naughty, you guys are gonna get in big big trouble if you celebrate it."
So much more, too....but anyway, thought I'd introduce myself...I'm new to blogging and my site is www.realitiesofmomhood.blogspot.com, if you'd like to join. I love comments too...and I would love more followers.
By the way...I can personally veto the giant ass theory...my ass is a failure and I still got sick. Boo.
Take care!
I hope the boy feels better soon, and Tammie, I've seen pics of you, you don't have a fat ass girl! Completely perfect in every way! Silly girl, now go shake that thing! Be proud of your bad self!
I think I'm grateful that our full-length mirror broke--there's nothing I really want to see. (Who knows what year I'm on of the bad luck cycle.) Having said that, the peppermint bark looks terrific!
igemom: i dont have a lot of time this morning but i wanted to take a moment to reply to you. im so sorry you (and your hubby) have to deal with that. and my heart just goes out to his son. when i was a part of the religion i never once thought of it as brainwashing but as i got older i definitely saw it for what it was. for your husbands son to say that...i mean, how sad is that? what little kid should even be having thoughts like that? its just depressing. anyway, ill definitely check out your blog a bit later when i have a few more minutes. and please feel free to drop me a line if you want (email address is in the sidebar)--i know a lot of people can't fully "get" all that you're going through.
dani:i know, and it does sound horrible, but im the same. aint no weight loss like sickness induced weight loss. its sad really.(im baking the pie now...ill let you know.)
lia: ha ha...im glad i could provide you with a sense of security.
barefoot: ok! im going to try that one next. i think my family might soon get sick of my various pumpkin pie concoctions. i.dont.care.
beck: honestly, i agree with everything you say. sometime i just lose sight of it.
daphne: i know, i really think the butt is a lose/lose situation. i certainly wouldnt want a flat ass. im just striving for perfection. ill let you know when i get there.
tammiemarie: you know, i truly try to stay away from mirrors too. most of the time i'll just give myself a quick glance. anything more than that is just depressing.
mari: thank you!
You crack me up. I've seen pics of you, and if you do have a giant fat ass you hide it well. I am a bit underweight for my height, but I am not toned. I have perfected the art of being a skinny fatass!
I hope the boy feels better soon :)
Hmm, that is interesting this is the first year I have been in my ideal weight range and I haven't gotten sick as often...(knock on wood) but maybe there is less germs in Alabmama
Mmm...pepppermint bark. So glad to hear the boy is better. I think being a mom helps you from getting sick because something in the universe knows you have to do it all.
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