Monday, September 28, 2009

What Really Grinds My Gears :: Part Five

What's grinding my gears today, you ask?

My husbands shoe collection:The above pile you see on my bed is most of Jay's shoe collection. He also has golf shoes, flip flops, a rarely worn pair of lace up boots, and the shoes that he wore to work today. Fifteen pairs. For him, that number isn't that obnoxious. There have been times in our marriage that he's had closer to forty pairs.

In recent years, he's gotten better about keeping his addiction under control. Plus, since we aren't using credit cards this year, he hasn't been able to purchase every brown lace up that crosses his path.

You'd think that having his shoe collection whittled down to a paltry fifteen pairs would make it much easier to care for the beloved collection. And by "care for" I basically mean "put away." But no, I find them everywhere but the closet. I walk the house daily picking up shoes. They're by the front door, the back door, the couch, the piano, and once, most inexplicably, directly in front of the refrigerator. How? Why?

Sometimes if Jay is motivated, he'll carry his shoes into the bedroom and I'll get all excited thinking he's finally learned. But then he'll stop and put them directly in front of the closet. Why? Is he doing this just to piss me off?

This morning I took a few moments to organize Jay's shoes for him. Not because I'm a good wife, but because I actually wanted to walk in to my walk in closet and that couldn't be done because the floor was covered with random shoes and empty shoe boxes. Now Jay just needs to do something about the rest of his side of the closet or else I will be forced to discuss the following questions here:

*Does one man really need 15 pairs of flat front, relaxed fit chinos?

*White linen shirts: How many is too many?

16 comments:

Maria Rose said...

OK, here's a plan. Train your dog to chew any shoes that are left out in the open.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

OMG that is a hoot. I live this too. My husband is a shoe whore and they too are strewn about. It drives me crazy. But this - The front of the closet no less - so close but yet.....
My head may have exploded at that point.

I can not help you in your quest of how many flat front chino's are too many - my hubby asked me that about black shoes. Oops. :-)

Nowheymama said...

"Why? Is he doing this just to piss me off?"

Hee!

kraftykash said...

hahah this is good stuff! My husband has more shoes and clothes than me. I find it irratating.

Daphne said...

So funny. Unfortunately I am the shoe culprit in this house. It's a lifelong habit of mine to leave my shoes everywhere. I try to pick them up at the end of the day and have only ONE pair randomly floating around the house... but sometimes I forget and then I hear the subtle swearing coming from the dining room and then the shoes very quickly disappear into my (tiny) closet. It's funny because I put EVERYTHING else away -- bags, coats, clothes, books, etc. -- but somehow can't handle putting my shoes away.

Tammie said...

maria rose: ive considered that but because the kids leave their shoes out too, i think it would backfire on me.

kash: i may have more shoes than jay, im not sure. but if i do its only because i bought a lot of shoes when i worked regularly--a decade ago! now i only buy them as needed. but yeah, jay has more clothes than me too.

daphne: my swearing isnt always so subtle.

Sarah12730 said...

I share this misery with you. Shoes are quickly becoming my sore spot. Well, shoes left in the open. And with three boys in the house, I deal with shoes in the middle of the living room, shoes in front of the couch, shoes in the middle of the kitchen, shoes in the middle of the hallway JUST inside the front door.... just no shoes in the closet. They're everywhere else.

Ugh.

6p00d834531a7569e2 said...

I LOVE this segment of Irregular Tammie!!!!
At least your man has shoes. Mine has one pair of flips and two slip on beach shoes. VERY minimal, my man. He needs some tenni-runners.

And white shirt? Not in my family. Ha!

alisha said...

LOL! Love this post. My husband is the same way. Well, he's not so much of a shoes whore, but the shoes he does have are never put away. I too am usually unable to walk into my closet or close the door unless I move his shoes back to where they belong.

Barefoot_Mommy said...

*laughs* That is great. But at least he wears the shoes right? We currently have 4 pairs of brand new shoes in the closet that are the hubby's, which he *had* to buy, and yet he still wears the same grungy, beat-up pair of converses EVERYWHERE. I mean EVERYWHERE: to work, to resturaunts, to the store, to church, my parents house.....

beck said...

I thought shoes were meant to be a womans domain? My husband doesn't present with shoe issues but let me tell you, he has plenty of other annoying habits. Well, that is a little unkind, maybe not plenty but certainly a few. Don't get me started. Good luck on the shoe front, have you tried hiding them? I like the dog idea, get a puppy! x

hester said...

Yes....lots of husband shoes lying around our place too. I pick them up when I'm annoyed enough and literally throw them into his section of the cupboard. I'm envious that you have a walk in cupboard! Very luxurious!

Mari said...

I guess we're lucky to have a basement. I just toss everything downstairs! I would hate to actually count our shoes...

Tammie said...

sarah: i know, you'd think one or two pairs would end up in the closet...at least by accident.

JEM: your man is minimal!! WOW. since jay is in the shoe business, he does need a few pairs, but i still get jealous of his selection at times.

barefoot: oh yes, my hubs. has the beat up converse too.

hester: believe me, if you could see it, you would see that it is anything but luxurious.

mari: no basements here. i wish i had a room i could chuck things to though.

Penny said...

I think your husband and my husband might be exact opposites. My husband wears one pair of shoes, EVERYDAY. He wears black Converse to work, to school, to dinner, wherever...Every.single.day. He owns one pair of black dress shoes he NEVER wears which brings his shoe total to: 2 pairs.

He would wear the same pair of pants everyday too if I let him.

Dani said...

The Mr. and I were put on this earth for each other...as much as I sometimes question that.

We are both neat-freak minimalists.

And people hate us because of it.