Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Yesterday was an awesome mail day.

First up, I got a care package from Dawn. Aside from being filled with some great thread and large bottles of my favorite shampoo and conditioner, there was a tiny gag gift tucked inside.

The last time Dawn went to Hooters she went into the bathroom and thought she saw the largest tampon machine known to womankind. Upon further inspection she realized it wasn't a tampon machine but a pantyhose machine. In case you've never been to a Hooters before, first off, you aren't missing much. Secondly, I feel I should describe the wardrobe of the waitresses, aka "Hooters Girls." Your typical Hooters Girl wears teeny orange shorts, a shirt showcasing her hooters, and pantyhose. Oh and top it all off with a pair of scrunch socks. It's quite a look.

I imagine the pantyhose machine in the bathroom is for the waitresses, in case one were to get a snag in her hose while doing her job. Apparently the higher ups at Hooters are quite particular about the wardrobe of their girls. Anyway, Dawn thought it would be just hilarious to buy me some footless pantyhose.
When we were discussing them on the phone yesterday she apologized for getting me the wrong size. You know, as if there would have been even the slightest possibility of me wearing them outside of the house anyway.

I wish I had some orange shorts and scrunch socks to complete the outfit for you, my dear readers. But I've never been a Hooters Girl. (I know!? Hard to believe what with my ample bosom and sunny disposition.)

The second bit of awesome mail was this hooter of a different variety:
This is a print based on a painting done by Daphne. Last month she had a quiz on her blog with the prize being one of her owl prints. Even though I totally flunked her quiz, she sent out prints to all the participants anyway. Isn't she the best? I chose the blue background because it's the exact same color as the trim in my bedroom so it looks just lovely. I like the idea of having art in my bedroom that was done by my friend. It gives me something happy to wake up to.

A few random notes:

*Dawn isn't a regular at Hooters. She didn't tell me to add that but I'm sure she'd want me to clarify it.

*When I mentioned to Jay that the pantyhose were probably going to make it into the blog, he jokingly suggested he model them. I said no. You can all thank me later.

*The shade of my pantyhose is Suntan. Just in case you were wondering. And if you were wondering, don't tell me because I'd rather not know. They can be bought at Peavey Hosiery, which appears to be the official hosiery company of professionals.

*Isn't it nice how in the above picture my bed is unmade, my daughter is in her nightshirt, and my floor is disgusting? I know how to Keep It Real.

*I've begun the tedious process of going through all the old posts and re-labeling them a bit. My labels as they are right now are very vague and it's difficult to find things. I've learned this the hard way when I want to link to an old post and I have to look through a years worth of archives under the not-so-helpful label of "Family." So if things look a little weird here over the next couple of days, or a post disappears for a few moments, don't be alarmed. It's just me doing some housekeeping.


Nowheymama said...

I love the owl print!

I have no words about the pantyhose.


Daphne said...

I didn't even know they *made* pantyhose anymore. Bleck. I love the photo, however. :)

The owl looks great in that frame! I have the original at home framed in a gray wood frame -- silver is so pretty, too. He's glad to be at your house (er, a relative of his, anyway..)

AND, how awesome is it that now you have a post titled "Hooters" on your blog. Awesome.

Tammie said...

nowhey: yeah they do have the ability to leave one speechless.

daphne: ha ha ha...im a little embarrassed to admit how excited i was when i came up with the name "Hooters" for this post. i thought it was just perfect. im very easily amused.

Hotch Potchery said...

I actually really like the Big Fish sandwich at Hooters. It is delish.

I think the hose are funny, I haven't worn pantyhose in 15 years, easy. I probably should sometimes, but I just decided to say 'no' to hose.

I love the owl print!

Dani said...

I love owls. I am thinking of getting the stupid tattoo of a flower that's on my back covered with some sort of owl. I won't be in a drunken stupor this time. And I'm not 19.

Never been to Hooters. Although it was a joke between me and the Mr. that I could work a couple of shifts there while on the "beans & rice" plan. We decided we weren't that desperate.

kraftykash said...

We went to Hooters once when Kalen was around 2 or 3. I remember the girls there loved him and thought he was the cutest thing ever. I should tell him that story. :) A keeping it real pic in my bedroom would have the hazmat team coming over for a resuce. My room is the catch all room in our house...trust me, its bad! BTW...cant wait for the package. :)

Mari said...

I did not know footless panty hose existed! Thanks for enlarging my world ; D

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I've never been to Hooters, and fully intend to be able to say that on my death bed.
LOVE the owl print!

beck said...

What is the male equivalent of Hooters I wonder? Tooters? Pokeys? Dangles? Rockets? Cock Robins? Shooters? Oh I could go on wondering forever! Moving right along...I too am an owl lover, how cute is your print? Love it. Makes me all sleepy and smiley. Also love the way you are keeping it real on your blog, & you make me laugh, thanks! xox

Tammie said...

hotch: its funny, i havent actually been to a hooters in a long time, probably as long as you havent worn pantyhose, but i do remember the fish sandwich being good. i dont think any of the food there is bad, just typical of that type of restaurant.

dani: ha you crack me up.

kash: ok. now i need to see your bedroom.

cyndy: i cant believe youve lived in florida this whole time and never been to hooters! im amazed.

beck: HA! i dont know but my vote would go to Cock Robins. HA thanks for popping over here...i meant to say so yesterday but it slipped my mind. :)

Maria Rose said...

I think you may be starting an internet sensation a new trend of footless hose.

Tammie said...

maria rose: oh god i hope not!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

I bet the next package has the scrunch socks. Keep your fingers crossed!

Love the owl print.

Betts said...

The owl print is gorgeous and so are the pantyhose. Maybe you should dress as a Hooters girl for Halloween. I've never been to one. I guess I'm not missing much.

supah ~d said...

That pic is hilarious! Suntan! blek!

Is that place still in business??? Wait.. are there still men on the Earth?

question answered

stopping in.. found you .. i don't even know how.. blog of a blog of a blog maybe?


Tammie said...

supah: so glad you got a chuckle.

it's easy to lose track of time when in blog land isnt it?