Considering I almost had to wear a bikini top as a bra this morning, I really should be focusing my energy on the ever increasing laundry pile slowly creeping throughout the house, but instead I'm drawn to the computer to tell you about our little outing on Sunday.
Because the girl basically had me at wits end, Jay thought it would be a good idea to get me out of the house for a few hours, and I agreed. Whenever we want to leave town but don't want to spend a giant wad of cash, we usually end up going to Jacksonville because it's only an hour away and they have a Super Target. I justify a trip to Super Target by thinking, It's just groceries I couldn't get here in town. But really, do I need fancy peanut butter? Probably not. Another reason I wanted to go was because Jay had found an independent fabric store in Jacksonville and I was kinda itching to check it out. So we left the girl with my mom, and took the boy on a day trip.
But no matter how many times I go to Jacksonville I don't seem to learn my lesson, which is that the city is a huge, smelly, old, racism and poverty filled freaking disappointment. First up, once we got to Super Target, it just didn't seem all that impressive. I mean, if there was one here in town I'd probably be there once a week, but it just doesn't seem worth traveling 80 miles for. Next up, after driving around for two hours looking for the fabric store, it was not only closed, but gone for good. The sign was there but no store. Great. Part of the reason I wanted a fabric store was I needed to get some ribbon trim for the girl's skirt, as I kinda wanted to have it finished by the end of the weekend.
After eating lunch at a restaurant filled with TVs and half drunk sports fans, we drove around some more in search of a Joann's. When we finally found one it was the oldest, dankest Joann's ever. While I was getting the things I needed, the boy needed to use the restroom but there was a sign on the door that said you had to get the restroom key from the cutting desk. The boy politely asked the lady for it and she handed him a key that is attached to a ruler. Seriously, what is going on in the bathroom of the oldest Joann's ever that they need to make entry to it this difficult?! After I paid for my purchase, the boy still hadn't been able to get into the bathroom so we left and he pee'd in a gas station restroom a few miles down the road. A lovely restroom complete with dead bugs and the ever classy condom machine.
Whenever I get it into my head to go to Jacksonville, I think They have a J. Crew and a Bare Escentuals store. But really, once I get there I realize the shopping is only moderately better. I can get Bare Escentuals online and the selection at the Jacksonville J. Crew is pretty basic. If it doesn't coordinate with a Jacksonville Jaguars jersey, then they probably don't have it. So again, I'm better off just sticking to the internet.
Don't get me wrong, Jacksonville has some things. Like crime. Horrific crime. I get a lot of my local news from stations in Jacksonville and it seems as if they report violent crimes almost daily. Their local murder rate is 1 1/2 times that of the national average.
So yeah, it was nice to get away from the girl for the day, but I can't say it was a relaxing trip. Jay and I made a pact last night that anytime one of us suggests a trip to Jacksonville, the other person has permission to punch the suggestion maker in the face.